


The Skies Are Blue (Haven't Been For a While)

by Who_the_hell_is_Tre_Cool



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends to Lovers, Niall-centric, Non-binary character, Other, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Trans Character, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26108104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_the_hell_is_Tre_Cool/pseuds/Who_the_hell_is_Tre_Cool
Summary: 'They race each other to the swings, still giggling like idiots. Louis wins and takes his prize, the swing with a full seat. Niall sighs in defeat, and sits down on the other swing, where the seat is half rotted away. Louis pulls a fag from the pocket of his trackies and lights up, making Niall wrinkle his nose in disgust. He shrugs apologetically, but doesn’t put it out. Niall’s sort of used to it, but he still complains. It’s the principle of the matter, or something.They sit in silence for a little bit, watching the smoke curl into the slowly darkening sky, until Louis speaks.“What’re you gonna do when you get top surgery?”It’s a game they play sometimes, asking different questions about the future. Always a ‘when’, never an ‘if’. ‘What will you do when you get a binder?’ ‘What will you do when you cut your hair?’ ‘What will you do when you leave home?’ Some days, Niall gets lost in his head, thinking about the ‘if’. Louis’ always there to remind him it’s a ‘when’.'
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin/Sierra Deaton, Michael Clifford/Calum Hood, Niall Horan/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	The Skies Are Blue (Haven't Been For a While)

**Author's Note:**

> God this fic was so cathartic to write, it was great. 
> 
> Many thanks to Heath, Maria, and the groupchat for listening to me ramble, love you guys <3  
> Also many thanks to Ethan (@till-the-sunshine-fades on tumblr) for being my beta (first time for everything ey)
> 
> This is set in England so a) expect a lot of British language, and b) this drinking is underage but the (offscreen) sex is legal. The uni they go to is 100% real, as are the course combinations they take (I looked it up).

###

Niall kicks his shoes off and flops face down on his bed, groaning. He can hear Louis dumping his schoolbag in the corner before doing the same, tucking himself close to Niall’s side. They lay there in silence for a bit, before Louis huffs and gets up, never one to stay still too long.

Seconds later, Louis nimble fingers dig into Niall’s side, making him yelp.

“Hey! What’d you do that for?” He grumbles. Louis just grins angelically. Bullshit.

“Get up, get changed, c’mon. I wanna _do_ something.”

Rolling his eyes, he sits up. Getting changed wouldn’t be a bad thing. The school uniform is shitty, trousers a weird clingy fabric, and a stupid blouse. At least his mum lets him wear trousers, unlike Louis’ mum, who bought skirts so that they could be passed down to his younger sisters.

They face away from each other as they get changed, although it’s nothing they haven’t seen before. Louis steals one of Niall’s hoodies, one he’d stolen from Greg, so it hangs even looser on Louis. He also takes his hair out of the plaits his mum had put it in for school, tucking it under a beanie.

They race each other down the stairs, loud thudding echoing through the house, and Niall can hear his mum laughing in the kitchen.

“Ma! We’re going to the park, we’ll be back by eleven!”

“Alright girls,” Niall cringes internally, sharing a look with Louis, who shrugs in a ‘what can you do?’ sort of way, “You’ve both got your phones, call me if you’re in trouble.”

“Yes Ma, bye!” Niall grabs Louis hand and they leave, giggling a little as they make their way to the park, a run-down structure that’s barely been changed since the 50’s. There’s a sign saying the equipment shouldn’t be used by anyone over the age of twelve, but the place is a death-trap, so all the parents take their kids to the newer park closer to the primary school, leaving this park to be the gathering for the teenagers of the town.

They race each other to the swings, still giggling like idiots. Louis wins and takes his prize, the swing with a full seat. Niall sighs in defeat, and sits down on the other swing, where the seat is half rotted away. Louis pulls a fag from the pocket of his trackies and lights up, making Niall wrinkle his nose in disgust. He shrugs apologetically, but doesn’t put it out. Niall’s sort of used to it, but he still complains. It’s the principle of the matter, or something.

They sit in silence for a little bit, watching the smoke curl into the slowly darkening sky, until Louis speaks.

“What’re you gonna do when you get top surgery?”

It’s a game they play sometimes, asking different questions about the future. Always a ‘when’, never an ‘if’. ‘What will you do when you get a binder?’ ‘What will you do when you cut your hair?’ ‘What will you do when you leave home?’ Some days, Niall gets lost in his head, thinking about the ‘if’. Louis’ always there to remind him it’s a ‘when’.

“I wanna wear tank tops,” Niall eventually decides. It was something simple, but at the moment he didn’t feel comfortable going out without a jacket or a long-sleeved shirt. Summer was hell, but it was the best way to hide his chest. Even if he had a binder, he didn’t think he’d be comfortable in a tank top, so it was truly the end goal of his transition.

Louis nods in understanding, “You’d look good in a tank top,” He smirks, “Show off your weedy little arms.”

“Oi!” Niall shoves him, which backfires a little as it sends his swing rocking, giving him the chance to kick Niall’s shins. “Of course once I get top surgery I’ll be able to work out. Won’t be so scared of going to the gym.”

“That’s true I suppose. Little Nialler’s gonna get buff then, alright,” Louis grins. Niall shoves him, and this time he falls off, coughing as he inhales too quickly and chokes on the smoke from the fag that’s just been hanging from his lips. Serves him right.

Instead of springing to his feet, Louis grabs Niall’s ankle and yanks him off the swing, making him land on top of him. Niall yelps as he falls, and catches Louis in the stomach with his elbow, knocking the wind out of him.

They shift a little, but stay curled up like that, leeching each other’s body warmth and watching the stars.

###

GCSE’s are a nightmare and Niall hates them. He suffers his way through his maths papers, comes out of English not remembering a thing he’s just written, and nearly cries when he butchers his Spanish speaking exam.

Louis pretends he’s not worried, comes out of the exam hall with an easy smirk and happily discusses the questions. But he confesses to Niall one evening, when they’re sat in the park once again, that he’s terrified of not getting high enough grades.

The two of them plan to go to the same uni, but if they don’t get the grades then their plans are ruined.

Louis also confesses, drunk on cheap booze that Niall had convinced Greg to buy for them, that he has to be the best. In his head, he has to be the best at everything, to make up for the fact that it’s him. He hasn’t come out to his family yet. Realistically he knows his mum won’t mind, and his sisters won’t care at all, but he doesn’t want to cause trouble.

It’s bullshit, and Niall tells him just as much, slurred words and a quick peck to the lips that neither of them remember in the morning.

###

In the end, they both get the grades they need to get into uni, and end up picking Sheffield. It’s close enough that they could visit their parents every night if they need to, but far enough away to give them independence. The cheap student accommodation is a bonus, since neither of their families are rich.

Niall picks the combined English and music course, and Louis has about twelve different breakdowns before putting all the courses he wouldn’t mind into a random generator and picking one, since he’s only going to uni because he’s got to. (He ends up with history).

Before they know it, summer is over and they’re packing up their things ready to leave. Niall’s dad is driving them down, so Niall dumps all his things in the boot and stays silent for the duration of the short drive to Louis’ house.

Niall’s mum had cried when he’d left, and even Greg had given him a proper hug. Louis is out on the doorstep already, bags by his feet, hugging his multitude of siblings as many times as they want, while his mum pats at her eyes with a tissue. Niall gets out to help Louis with his bags, and also gets dragged into hugs by his sisters, which at least makes Louis laugh.

The drive is just over half an hour, and they spend their time loudly singing along to the radio.

When they arrive, they follow the signs and retrieve their timetables and their building keys. Niall’s dad helps them carry their bags upstairs to their floor.

The accommodation is fairly nice, each floor laid out with a line of rooms down one side, with an open lounge area in the middle and a kitchen area at the far end. The bathrooms are downstairs, shared between the whole building, which, gross. But it’s cheap, so it’ll do.

A few members of their floor have already moved in, doors propped open with shoes or bags, a couple with name signs on the doors. Louis has the corner room, so his only neighbour is Niall. Niall’s neighbour is already there, door propped open with a whiteboard stuck to it, a few pens along the side. The whiteboard says ‘Michael’, and underneath it says ‘ae/aem pronouns’, with a smiley face with X’s for eyes.

Niall grins at that, but doesn’t say anything until his dad has left with one final, manly hug.

“I guess we’ve got a little trans corner going,” Louis says, clearly having also noticed the sign. They’re sat in Niall’s room, door propped open with Louis’ jacket.

“Maybe we should get whiteboards too,” he sits down on the floor, laying on his back spread out like a star fish.

Louis kicks him in the side, but only once. “Maybe Michael has some spare.”

Just then, a head of alarmingly bright red hair appears around the door, attached to a tale, pale person.

“I hear you’re admiring my whiteboard,” Ae say, and Niall realises this is probably Michael.

Louis grins, “Yeah, just saying we’ve got a little trans corner over here.”

Michael completely lights up at that, inviting aerself inside to sit on the floor, near Niall’s shins.

“You’re trans? What’re your pronouns? Wait, fuck, and your names. Forgot to ask your names.”

Laughing, Louis responds, “I’m Louis, this is Niall,” He gestures with another kick to Niall’s side, “And he/him for both of us.”

###

It’s in Niall’s English class where he first meets Zayn.

He takes a seat in the lecture hall, somewhere in the middle. He doesn’t want to sit at the very front, but he doesn’t want to isolate himself at the back. He gets his laptop out, ready to take notes, before watching all the people filtering in.

Soon enough, a dark-haired person approaches him, gesturing to the seat next to him.

“Mind if I sit?” They ask, and Niall grins.

“Go for it.”

The person sits down, and goes about getting out their stuff, and Niall takes the opportunity to look at them.

Their hair is dark, almost black, long on top and short along the sides. They have high cheekbones and pretty eyelashes, and they’re wearing light makeup. Their shirt has the Marvel logo on it, and a few tattoos peak out from the sleeves of their denim jacket. There’s a small pin on their lapel that says ‘they/them’, and it makes Niall smile.

The person seems to notice his smile, and eyes him warily, so Niall decides to say something.

“I like your eyeshadow, it’s a nice colour.”

“Thanks,” They say, still sounding wary.

Niall mentally shrugs, “I’m Niall, he/him pronouns.”

This seems to make them slightly less suspicious, “Zayn. They/them, at the moment.”

“At the moment?” Niall questions, before instantly regretting it. Zayn just sighs.

“You’re not some knobhead sorta lad are you? You seem pretty alright but, I just wanna make sure you’re not gonna beat me up later.”

Niall shakes his head quickly, “No, no, definitely not. I uh- I’m trans too. I keep meeting other trans and nonbinary people and it’s super cool cuz it’s just been me and me mate Louis.”

Zayn thinks over this for a moment, before nodding, “Alright. I’m genderfluid. My gender changes every couple of days or so. I have badges, so you don’t have to worry about messing up pronouns or anything.”

“Oh that’s cool. When me and Louis moved into our block, my neighbour Michael had a whiteboard on aer door with aer name and pronouns. Ae heard us talking about it and came in to bond. We have a little trans corner at the end of our row.”

This makes Zayn smile slightly. Score!

“That’s nice. Say, that Michael wouldn’t happen to be Michael with the bright red hair would it?”

Niall beams, “Yeah, that’s the one! Bloody tall, too.”

“Yeah, I know aem, ae dated my friend Harry for a bit. I think ae finally got aer shit together and is dating aer friend Calum now. Those two were pining for years. They went to primary together and everything.”

And Niall knows absolutely nothing about pining for your childhood friend, no, definitely not.

###

Louis marches into Niall’s room that night, Michael trailing behind him looking amused.

“Michael’s cutting my hair, c’mon,” Louis grabs Niall’s arm, already dragging him towards the door.

Michael has a pair of scissors and a comb in aer hand, and offers Niall a smile when he meets aer eye. Louis drags them both downstairs to the bathroom, and Niall panics for a moment, looking to Michael, as Louis heads towards the gents, but Michael just shrugs.

Luckily, the bathroom is empty when they get in. Niall still gets a little nervous about using the men’s loo, doesn’t want to get shouted at, or worse. But Louis has an act of boundless confidence, and it’s hard not to follow him.

Louis stands facing away from the mirror, and Michael gets aer scissors. Ae ties Louis’ hair in a ponytail first, before stopping.

“You ready?” Ae asks, but aer struggling to contain aer smile, “Time for the big chop.”

“More than ready,” Louis confirms, grinning.

Niall feels giddy with it, the palpable happiness in the room. He’s constantly thankful his mum let him do whatever he wanted to his hair, although he’s enjoying the second-hand rebellious feel of doing something Louis’ never been allowed to do before.

It takes a bit of hacking with the scissors, but eventually Michael is holding Louis’ ponytail, no longer connected to his head. His remaining hair falls slightly weirdly, making him look a bit like Niall’s Nan, but Michael gets to work, trimming it so it’s even. It’s a similar cut to how Niall has his, but he thinks Louis wears it so much better.

Michael spins Louis around all dramatic like, and when Louis looks in the mirror he looks like he’s about to cry. Instead, he hugs Michael tight, grinning from ear to ear, before dragging Niall into the hug as well. He’s laughing and crying and it’s a mess, but it feels so damn good.

Later, when Niall and Louis are curled up together watching re-runs of Total Wipeout on Louis’ shitty laptop, Niall asks the question that’s been buzzing about in his mind.

“What made you wanna cut your hair today?” He mumbles, words pressed to Louis’ now-short hair.

Louis shrugs, but he squirms a little in a way that let’s Niall know he’s hiding something.

“Alright, what’s botherin’ you,” He pauses Total Wipeout and pokes at Louis’ sides until he smacks his hands away, grumbling.

It’s silent for a moment, until Louis sighs, wriggling around to cuddle into Niall’s side more. Normally, Louis likes to make himself seem bigger than he actually is, but at the moment he seems to be doing the opposite, curling up and making himself small. It hurts Niall’s heart a little bit, and his starts softly petting the baby hairs at the back of Louis’ neck.

Eventually, Louis sighs again, and starts talking.

“My history prof is a knob,” He mumbles, words muffled against the fabric of Niall’s jumper. “I went to him at the start of class to politely ask him to use my correct name and pronouns but _no_ apparently the register is a fuckin’ holy scripture or something, and he refuses to call me anything else.”

Niall frowns, fingers curling in Louis’ hair, “Well that’s bollocks. Is there anyone you can talk to? Like, I dunno, someone higher up who can make him respect you?”

Louis shrugs, pressing play on the laptop, “Maybe,” He mumbles, and that’s the end of that.

###

In a long game of telephone, Niall hears from Louis who heard from Michael who heard from Luke that Luke’s partner Ashton is throwing a party, some sort of ‘yay we survived the first week of uni’ sort of party, and while Niall has yet to meet Luke or Ashton, he’d never pass up free booze. And they’re Michael’s friends, they can’t be that bad.

Michael’s excited for the party because aer boyfriend Calum is gonna be there and ae wants to introduce him to Niall and Louis.

Louis’s excited for the party because he wants to find someone to hook-up with. He hasn’t said so out loud, but Niall knows that’s it.

So on Saturday night, the three of them walk to the house Ashton shares with a bunch of other frat-type lads, but Michael assures them both that the lads are all cool and not as frat as they seem. Niall isn’t quite convinced, but then Michael starts talking about how Jack broke his arm trying to save a kitten from the roof only to find out is was just a plastic bag, and he thinks yeah, they don’t sound too bad.

They arrive at the house and the party seems to already be in full swing, shitty dance pop blaring from the open door. A few people are sat in the front garden, playing an intense game of Uno.

Inside, Michael is immediately tackled by a dark haired boy who Niall identifies as Calum as soon as he lifts his head and gives Michael a look like ae hung the stars in the sky. It’s sickening, but adorable. They share a quick kiss, and Michael introduces him to Louis and Niall, before the pair of them disappear off into the crowd.

Niall shrugs and heads into the kitchen, feeling Louis pressing close behind him. He grabs them both a cup of something, giggling a little at the red cups, American movie style.

Louis takes the cup from him, bumping his shoulder in thanks before gesturing behind him. He disappears into the crowd with an easy grin, and Niall glances around, grinning when he spots someone he recognises.

It’s Zayn, wearing a different Marvel shirt, tucked into a black skater skirt, with knee high heeled boots. He can’t see their face, but he’s sure they’re wearing makeup. Niall makes a bee line to them, and Zayn smiles when they see him, waving a little. Niall was right, they are wearing makeup, along with their ‘she/her’ badge. The person she’s talking to is a towering blonde, also wearing makeup.

“Niall!” She shouts over the music, leaning into him a little. He grins, looping an arm around her waist. “I didn’t expect to see you here! Are you friends with Ashton?”

Niall shakes his head, “No, I’m friends with Michael, remember? Ae told me and Louis about this.”

Zayn nods, before pulling away from him to gesture the blonde in front of them.

“This is Luke! He’s Ashton’s boyfriend!”

Luke smiles, “Hi! Michael mentioned you and your- Louis. Said you were aer cool neighbours or something.”

Zayn leaves at some point when her boyfriend Liam shows up, sneaking up on her and wrapping his arms around her waist, making her jump. They go off to dance, leaving Niall with Luke. Luke is easy to talk to, spends most of his time rambling about his partners, getting more and more squishy and romantic the more he drinks. Luckily, Niall can tolerate it more the more _he_ drinks, so they’re even.

He learns that Luke is polyamorous, a term that he has to explain since Niall has no clue what it means. He has a girlfriend called Sierra, who taught him to do his makeup and helps him go clothes shopping, and a partner called Ashton, who is the one throwing the party.

He also learns about Jack and Alex and Zack and Rian, the lads Ashton lives with. Alex lets Luke do his makeup sometimes, and Rian always compliments his outfits. Jack wolf-whistles when he walks into the room in a short skirt and Zack always says he’ll protect him if anyone tries to give him shit.

It’s nice, Niall thinks, to suddenly be surrounded by so many people either like him or accepting of him. It’s refreshing. Give him ten more weird mixed drinks and he’ll probably cry over it.

Ashton stumbles over at some point, face flushed and positively beaming. Niall feels much the same. They slot into conversation wonderfully after Luke’s enthusiastic greeting of, “Ash! There’s my big tiddy butch girlfriend.”

Luke is giggly and hammered. Ashton flushes red and tucks themselves into Luke’s side.

Later, Sierra comes over and collects Luke, teasing him for a little bit before getting him to come dance with her.

Niall finds Ashton as easy to talk to as Luke, if not easier. Although they’re both pretty drunk by then, they still manage to hold a conversation. Meaningless things, like the courses they’re taking, their friends, things like that. They laugh at people dancing, and Ashton points out Luke and Sierra, making out it the crowd.

“It’s nice, that they can go to each other,” Ashton says with a smile, fondness evident in their eyes.

This confuses Niall, he could have sworn the three of them were together?

“Wha’d’ya mean?” He asks, taking a sip of his drink, “I thought the three of y’ were together?”

Ashton smiles, looking like they’ve had this conversation before. Sober Niall would feel guilty. Drunk Niall is just confused.

“Luke’s dating me and Sierra, but me and her aren’t dating each other. Her and Luke tend to come together for things like this cuz uh, I’m asexual. And Luke is a clingy, horny drunk.”

Niall doesn’t know what asexual means, and he’s saved from asking by Louis stumbling over, arm around a tall person with long brown hair. Both of them have kiss-swollen lips, and the long-haired person looks flushed.

“Nialler!” Louis tosses an arm over his shoulders enthusiastically, making him stumble a little. Louis drops a kiss on his cheek before pulling back.

“Me and Harry here are heading back,” He waggles his eyebrows a bit. It looks dumb, but Niall can’t bring himself to laugh.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Louis calls as he leaves, Harry leaning into him.

Niall watches them leave, feeling a heavy weight in his gut that makes him feel all out of sorts, and when he turns back, Ashton is giving him sad puppy-dog eyes.

He walks home alone that night.

###

In some sick twist of fate, Niall finds out on Monday that Harry is in his music class.

At the start of the lesson, just as he’s sat down, someone plonks into the seat next to him. It’s Harry, looking as happy and slightly flushed as they were at the party. Niall wants to hate them so badly, and he doesn’t really know why.

The problem is, Harry is lovely.

Xe introduces xemself by grinning brightly and going, “I’m Harry, xe/xem pronouns. You’re Louis’ friend, aren’t you? It’s nice to properly meet you.”

Niall sticks with polite but not overly friendly responses at first. He can’t bring himself to be mean, but he doesn’t want to encourage xem. But over the course of the lesson, he finds himself warming up to Harry. There’s just something about xem that makes him feel warm and comfortable in the way that only Louis really has in the past.

It’s infuriating, to say the least.

What makes it worse is that Harry makes a habit of sitting next to him every lesson, always starting up a conversation about a new band xe’s found or a song xe thinks Niall will like.

Louis and Harry hook up a couple more times throughout the next few months. Niall usually throws things at the wall when they’re being too loud, and if that doesn’t work, he goes to Michael’s room instead.

Ae’s usually sympathetic, although ae finds it incredibly entertaining.

Other than having to listen to two of his best friends shag on a semi-regular basis (he realises one night that Harry has somehow firmly cemented xemself into the ‘best friend’ category), Niall’s pretty happy with his life at the moment.

So of course Louis has to go and ruin things.

Niall’s working on an essay for English when Louis barges into his room and throws himself down on his bed. That in itself isn’t abnormal, although it had become rarer as he’s been spending more time with Harry. What he says next though, is definitely out of the ordinary.

“I’m thinking of asking Harry out, like. On a date. A proper one, right romantic.”

Niall’s blood feels like ice and he doesn’t know why, so he ignores it, focusing on his essay. “Brill,” He mumbles.

“Cuz like,” Louis continues, “Shagging every now and then is cool and all, but I think xe’s really cool. I think I’d like to date them for real. Xe’s great in bed but I wanna like, hold xyr hand and kiss xem and stuff too.”

Niall makes an affirmative noise, not really listening. Louis babbles on for a little bit longer before suddenly his hands are on Niall’s shoulders, forcibly spinning him around, a frown on his face.

“Are you even listening to me?” He asks, planting his hands on Niall’s cheeks instead. Niall nearly swallows his tongue. Louis’ very close.

“I was,” Niall huffed, “You were talking about how amazing Harry is and how you wanna try and go steady with xem.”

Louis stares at him for a long, hard moment, squinting ever so slightly. Niall has to fight very hard to hold still.

Eventually, Louis drops his hands, taking a step back.

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?” He’s smirking in a jokey way, but there’s something vicious in his eyes.

“Am not,” Niall denies immediately. Maybe he is though. He honestly doesn’t know, his feelings have been such a mess recently.

Louis doesn’t look convinced, “Do you wanna shag Harry? Is that why you’re being a moody git?”

“I don’t wanna shag Harry,” That much he’s sure is true.

“Hmm,” Louis considers for a moment, “Do you wanna shag me? Is that the issue?”

Niall gawks at Louis, before quickly shaking his head, “No! I don’t wanna shag either of you!”

 _‘I don’t wanna shag anyone’_ is the thought that hits him, but he keeps that to himself. He’s not ready to think about that yet, but he feels like he might have to soon.

Louis scowls, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you acting weird around Harry. Either tell me what’s wrong or sort your shit out. I thought you two were friends?”

“We are friends! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” He might have some clue though.

“Fine! Keep being a prick! See if I care!” Louis yells, before storming out.

Michael sticks aer head around the door to ask if he’s okay a few minutes later, and Niall tells aem to piss off. Ae gives him this stupid pitying look, before leaving him be.

He wallows for a few more minutes, listens to Louis thud about in his room before slamming the door and walking away. _‘Probably going to Harry’s’_ he thinks bitterly, before doing the only thing he can think of.

He calls Ashton.

###

Zack, the gentlest, kindest, buffest lad Niall’s ever met, answers the door when he arrives. He smiles and lets him inside, pointing him in the direction of Ashton’s room without forcing any conversation. Brill. Niall thinks he might cry if he opens his mouth.

He heads upstairs and into Ashton’s room and Ashton is there waiting, sad puppy-dog eyes in full affect, arms opening instantly to invite him into a hug. He goes easily, letting Ashton wrestle him until they’re both lying down comfortably. Niall buries his face in their shoulder, feeling like a complete arse but not knowing what else to do. Ashton is calm and comfortable and the only person he thinks will understand him.

After what feels like years of trying to calm himself down enough to talk without crying, Niall eventually mumbles, “Me and Louis had a fight.”

Ashton makes a soft noise, “What about.”

“Harry.”

“What about,” Ashton repeats, and Niall sighs.

“Louis wants to ask Harry out.

Ashton hums, “And why’s this getting to you?”

They sound smug as hell and Niall wants to be angry but he’s just so fucking tired.

“I think I might be ace, like you. I Googled it the morning after we had that talk because I didn’t know what it meant. As soon as I learnt it, I felt like it was right, but I ignored it because I didn’t wanna think of it.”

Silence, for a moment, and then, “I’m proud of you. But why’s this causing trouble between you and Louis? Does he not accept you?”

He sighs, squirming a little bit, “No, well, I dunno. I haven’t told him. But, uh, I think I’m in love with him. I didn’t realise it cuz he asked if I was jealous because I wanna shag him or Harry but I _don’t_. But I think I might be jealous.”

“Of Harry getting to be with Louis? Or of both of them getting to be with each other?”

And that’s the million quid question here, one which Niall hasn’t even considered. He spends a long moment thinking about it while Ashton gently trails their fingers up and down his shoulder.

“I think...” He says eventually, voice coming out quiet. He clears his throat, and speaks a little louder, “I think I’m jealous of them both. I think I’m also scared.”

And it’s the first time he’s admitted it, out loud or even to himself. He’s scared.

“For such a long time, it was just me and Louis. I guess... I don’t want him to realise that he’s been wasting his time.”

Ashton makes a hurt sound, drawing him into a tight hug.

“Relationships aren’t based purely on sex. Even if it’s something he enjoys, he could live without it if he really loves you. Or if he’s proper serious about Harry, you could have a relationship like me, Luke, and Sierra. Or all three of you could date each other and you just don’t do sex stuff with them.”

Niall picks at the skin along the edge of his nails, “But what if they realise that’s too much work and dump me?”

“Then I’ll send Zack to hunt down their sorry arses. But you’re talking in unrealistic hypotheticals now. Louis looks at you like you’re his entire world, and Harry clearly likes you a lot. You should talk to them, or at least tell Louis what’s bothering you.”

He nods, chin bumping Ashton’s collar bone.

“Are you gonna head back, or do you wanna stay the night?”

He thinks about his room, essay left abandoned, Michael next door, full of well-meant but irritating pity. It’s an easy decision.

“I’ll stay, if you don’t mind.”

Ashton presses a kiss to the top of his head, “Of course I don’t.”

###

It takes a few days for Niall to corner Louis (and build up the courage to talk to him), but he’s just heard Louis next door, saying goodbye to Harry, and he thinks that it’s the perfect time.

He waits a little bit, before getting up and stepping out into the hallway, taking a deep breath before knocking on Louis’ door. Usually he would’ve just walked in, but it feels like they’re teetering on a precipice, and he doesn’t wanna knock them over the edge.

Louis opens the door, eyes bright and mouth open to say something, but it falls flat when he see’s Niall. His mouth snaps shut, twisting into a frown at the corners, and Niall’s heart aches.

“What do you want?” Louis asks, voice cold. Niall deserves it, but it still hurts.

“I want to apologise and I want to explain myself,” He responds, before he can pussy out. 

Louis glares at him for a moment, before saying, “No,” And shutting the door. Niall shoves his foot forwards, stopping him from closing the door.

“Please Lou. I’m sorry,” He tries, “I didn’t mean to cock things up between us. I talked to Ashton, they uh, they helped me figure some stuff out.”

Scowling, Louis opens the door slightly. “Fine,” He eventually huffs, opening it fully, “Come in then.”

And with that, he walks into his room. Niall follows, shutting the door behind him, but stays stood in the doorway. Louis is sat at his desk, giving him an icy look.

“I’m asexual,” Niall blurts, before he can think better of it. “I realised, a while ago. But I only properly thought about it when you asked is I was jealous, if I wanted to shag you or Harry. I don’t wanna shag either of you. But I _was_ jealous.”

Louis’ eyes widen a little. It looks like he’s trying so hard to stay angry, and Niall knows him so well. Knows that he hates being in the wrong, that he can hold a grudge for months, or until he gets a proper decent apology. Niall hopes his apology is good enough.

“I think,” He takes a deep breath. _Here goes nothing_. “I think I was jealous of both of you because I wanna date both of you but you both like sex and I don’t so there’s nothing I could bring to the relationship that you couldn’t get from each other.”

Suddenly, Louis is there in his face, hands on his cheeks just like they were when they argued.

“Niall you absolute pillock. What makes you think the only thing you could give me is sex. We’ve been best friends for years, you’ve given me plenty then that didn’t involve shagging. And yeah, I’d rather be getting some on a semi-regular basis. But it’s you. I’d happily spend the rest of my life getting by with a wank in the shower for you.”

Niall giggles at that, but then he’s crying. Louis looks worried for half a second, before pulling him into a hug.

“I hate fighting with you,” Niall mumbles, sniffling softly, “Let’s never do that again.”

Louis laughs, pulling away just enough to plant a kiss on his nose, “Agreed.”

Soon, Louis tugs him down onto his bed, wrapping his arms around him. Niall remembers something else.

“Did you ask Harry out in the end?”

Louis turns all bashful like, looking away, soft smile on his face, “Yeah, I did. Xe said yes.”

“I know I was acting like a jealous twat at first,” Louis makes a noise to protest, but Niall continue, “No, I was. But I’m happy for you two.”

Louis grabs his phone, typing something quickly. “Don’t act like this is the end of that, young Nialler. Harry’s gonna come over and we’re all gonna have a talk.”

Niall splutters, “No! You two are happy, I don’t wanna ruin that.”

“Don’t be thick,” Louis rolls his eyes, “As if your presence could ever make anything worse. Harry was proper upset when xe thought you didn’t like xem, xe’ll be well happy when xe finds out you were just struggling with shit.”

They spend their time waiting for Harry curled up together, Louis holding Niall’s hands after realising he’s been anxiously picking at his skin. He can’t help it. He really doesn’t want Harry to be upset with him. For trying to hate xem or for being in love with xyr boyfriend, either or.

All his worries seem to be for nought, as when Harry walks in xyr absolutely beaming. Xe jumps on the bed, lanky limbs flailing as xe envelops the both of them in a hug.

“I’m glad you don’t hate me,” Xe said, pressing a sloppy kiss to Niall’s cheek as xe pulls away. “I couldn’t work out what I’d done wrong.”

“I’m sorry,” He shifts away from Louis, pressing his face into xyr shoulder, “I’m so so sorry. I was a twat to you for no reason.”

Harry grins at him, “I will forgive you. But only if you give me a kiss.”

Niall is stunned into silence, and Harry instantly looks worried, “I’m sorry- did I overstep a boundary?”

He shakes his head quickly, and kicks Louis when he laughs at them.

“No, um- kissing if fine, kissing is good.”

“Our Nialler’s a bit of a slag when it comes to kissing,” Louis teases, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist. Niall feels warm at that. ‘ _Our Nailler_ ’. He likes the sound of it.

Harry giggles, all sunshine and rainbows and bubbly joy, “Oh perfect,” Xe says, before pressing their lips together. Niall melts into it, sensation heightened by the feeling of Louis pressed up behind him. He feels caged in, but it doesn’t set off his claustrophobia, no, instead it makes him feel safe, protected.

When Harry pulls away, Niall barely has time to process what’s going on before Louis is turning his head, mumbling a quiet, “my turn,” before their lips meet. Louis kisses different to Harry, slightly rougher, taking control. Niall feels dizzy with it, can still feel Harry’s body heat in front of him.

Eventually, Louis pulls away, grinning all cocky like.

“I think, if we want to do this, the three of us,” Harry says, “We need to communicate. Make sure if someone’s feeling left out then they speak up. It won’t work if we don’t talk.”

Louis and Niall both nod, and Louis says, “We also need to discuss boundaries. Niall, don’t be afraid to tell us if something we’re doing makes you uncomfortable, okay?” Louis squeezes his hand.

“Are we really doing this?” Niall asks, disbelief colouring his voice. Harry grins and kisses him again, a gentle peck.

“Yeah, we’re doing this.”

“Oh I am going to date the two of you so hard,” Louis says, biting Niall’s ear playfully, making him giggle. “As soon as I get a job, fancy dinner once a month, dates all the time. I’m gonna woo the crap out of you.”

Niall laughs at this, “You don’t need to woo me Tommo, you’ve had me smitten since Primary.”

Smirking, Louis kisses him again, mumbling against his lips, “Yeah, I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if u enjoyed it (or if ur confused about anything <3)  
> This work will remain a oneshot, so pls don't comment just asking for a sequel <33
> 
> U can also find me on tumblr @mastasof-ravenkroft


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